That Rat's Gonna Pay
February SEAHA note from the editor
Expected rain this weekend and expected guests next, we decided to forgo riding for some much needed housework. The girls had cleaned the empty storage shed in the mule area, and had been asking to play with their Barbie dolls there since yesterday. We told them we would get the dolls out of storage if they cleaned their room first. Our house doesn't have much internal storage, the bedrooms are smaller than the inside of my horse trailer. So the scores of Barbies that accrue at every birthday have to go somewhere, Sarah had neatly stacked them like cordwood in an old dresser in the garage. As I gathered the Tupperware storage boxes filled with Barbie accoutrements, houses, pools, corvettes (hey, Barbie lives better than me!) Sarah headed for the 4-drawer dresser. Opening drawer number one, she exclaimed "oh s*&%, a packrat's been in here." Sarah can't stand the destructive vermin, when we catch one in the live trap she calmly drowns them. I discretely release them across the interstate (enjoy, Del Lago Estates!). My little revenge for them stopping the riding in Pantano wash, "for the environment", then building 50 gazillion houses and a golf course down there. But I digress. Sarah began inventorying the damage. Some Barbies were missing just a hand or foot. Others had their faces horribly mutilated. It would be an interesting study to see if pack rats disfigure only a certain Barbie style. Golfing Fun Barbie is given a facial while Desert Adventure Barbie is left untouched. Behind drawer number 2 was worse carnage. A nest made of Barbie parts was lined with soft, nylon hair. Several neatly shorn blonde Barbie's stared out at the world. It seems packrats do prefer blondes. The girls were just starting to tune up when Sarah let out a blood-curdling scream! In a macabre version of the Goldielocks sequence, (someone's been sleeping with my Barbie, and he's still here) the horror became worse. A fat packrat jumped out of the drawer and tried to make a break for it by running up Sarah's arm. Her shriek drove him back to the more welcoming arms of his Barbie high rise, the girls ran out of the garage crying and screaming, Nathan came in running. I saw the tail and butt of one fat packrat disappearing into the ground floor apartment. Amelia sobbed that it was as big as a cat. Sarah said it was probably pregnant. Later, as the three of them were salvaging the good dolls and trashing the bald and amputees I commented, "hey, washing and doctoring Barbies is playing with them, you got what you wanted." Hope glared and said, "That rat's gonna pay for it, even if it is a girl."
Expected rain this weekend and expected guests next, we decided to forgo riding for some much needed housework. The girls had cleaned the empty storage shed in the mule area, and had been asking to play with their Barbie dolls there since yesterday. We told them we would get the dolls out of storage if they cleaned their room first. Our house doesn't have much internal storage, the bedrooms are smaller than the inside of my horse trailer. So the scores of Barbies that accrue at every birthday have to go somewhere, Sarah had neatly stacked them like cordwood in an old dresser in the garage. As I gathered the Tupperware storage boxes filled with Barbie accoutrements, houses, pools, corvettes (hey, Barbie lives better than me!) Sarah headed for the 4-drawer dresser. Opening drawer number one, she exclaimed "oh s*&%, a packrat's been in here." Sarah can't stand the destructive vermin, when we catch one in the live trap she calmly drowns them. I discretely release them across the interstate (enjoy, Del Lago Estates!). My little revenge for them stopping the riding in Pantano wash, "for the environment", then building 50 gazillion houses and a golf course down there. But I digress. Sarah began inventorying the damage. Some Barbies were missing just a hand or foot. Others had their faces horribly mutilated. It would be an interesting study to see if pack rats disfigure only a certain Barbie style. Golfing Fun Barbie is given a facial while Desert Adventure Barbie is left untouched. Behind drawer number 2 was worse carnage. A nest made of Barbie parts was lined with soft, nylon hair. Several neatly shorn blonde Barbie's stared out at the world. It seems packrats do prefer blondes. The girls were just starting to tune up when Sarah let out a blood-curdling scream! In a macabre version of the Goldielocks sequence, (someone's been sleeping with my Barbie, and he's still here) the horror became worse. A fat packrat jumped out of the drawer and tried to make a break for it by running up Sarah's arm. Her shriek drove him back to the more welcoming arms of his Barbie high rise, the girls ran out of the garage crying and screaming, Nathan came in running. I saw the tail and butt of one fat packrat disappearing into the ground floor apartment. Amelia sobbed that it was as big as a cat. Sarah said it was probably pregnant. Later, as the three of them were salvaging the good dolls and trashing the bald and amputees I commented, "hey, washing and doctoring Barbies is playing with them, you got what you wanted." Hope glared and said, "That rat's gonna pay for it, even if it is a girl."
posted by Garrett | 6:06 PM
<< Home